Love Advice

Choosing The Dating App That’s Right For You

Image via Tinder.com

Image via Tinder.com

If you’re looking to meet new people but don’t want your friends to be your wingmen, then dating apps are the way to go. Not only are you in control of who you spend time chatting with, but it’s your choice whether you eventually meet this person or not. After the first date, if the chemistry is nonexistent, then there’s no pressure to meet again. After all, it wasn’t one of your friends who set you up. Of course, the real dilemma then becomes, with so many dating apps to choose, which one do you select?

Because we understand the struggle, we’ve broken down some of the most popular options, explaining what sets each apart:

Coffee Meets Bagel limits you to one bagel (person to get to know) per day. Most users find that this takes the “buffet” feel away from dating apps and gives it a less superficial feel.

Grouper puts a twist on the dating shtick. It’s a social club that sets up drinks and games between 3 guys and 3 girls. There’s a small fee of $20 per person. The first round of drinks is on the app, the rest of the night is up to the team.

How About We lets users propose dates others can opt into. So if, for example, you’ve had this idea of going on a karaoke date, you can write it out and wait to see who chooses to join you in your singing adventure.

Match remains one of the most popular options amidst dating apps. The app matches local users based on algorithms.

OkCupid is promoted as a social network and dating app. It lets you get in touch with people in your area based on interests.

Tinder lets you swipe “yes” or “no” on other members. When you “yes” someone who has also said “yes” to you, the application allows you to message each other within its interface.

 

Fell in love in Brazil…now what? Judy Torres gives her advice!

Ask Judy
The Freestyle Legend con un corazón de oro!

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Dear Judy,

I went Brazil a few months ago and as you can only guess…I fell in love. I am partly disappointed in myself for allowing this to happen. I am usually against this kind of thing—the whole long distance relationship thing.

So, my handsome Brazilian says that I should either move in with him in Recife or we could work things out so that he can come live with me here in Queens.

I’m just torn because there is no one here that comes close to him in any way. I am half Brazilian too and he brings out the best part of me…the Brazilian side :) We are pretty perfect together. Sadly, I have seen people get used in these types of relationships. But I have also seen these situations work out beautifully.

If you have a crystal ball in your handbag, can you take it out and tell me how things are looking for me and my man?

Obrigada,

Belinda

Judy Torres
Dear Brazilian Beauty!!

When it comes to love, we cannot help whom we fall in love with. Long distance relationships can be exciting. We are away from home, out of our element, and many times we experience a temporary lapse of sanity, resulting in breaking many of our own rules. Being in a different place allows us to relax, and be a little less inhibited.

My crystal ball is hazy on this. I cannot see clearly at all and perhaps neither can you. So, my dear, my advice is to take a year or two to get to know one another. Next time you see your boyfriend, have him come visit here. Let him see your American lifestyle first. Now, if you decide to take the dive, then I would say let him come to you. He’s a man, and when a man wants a woman he will do anything to have her.

Loving someone is a risk. You can fly and soar and have happily ever after, or you can crash and burn. BUT, you will walk away with wisdom, and you will not have to live with wondering “what if”. Just do it in a smart way. You don’t want to go to Brazil and be without friends and family who can be the little angels on your shoulders, warning you if they see danger. Be smart about going forward, and protect yourself.

All the best,

Judy

Relationship Trends in America!

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Relationship Trends in America!

 

  • 48% of men are most likely to fall in love at first sight than woman who rated in at 28% ( makes sense verdad?)
  • 33% more men than woman are bothered if their partners aren’t more romantic (this is surprising, isn’t it?)
  • Couples who earn $20,000 or less argue less frequently compared to those who earn $250,000 to $500,000 ( hum…)
  • 57% of those in an unhappy relationship still finds partner attractive
  • Successful marriages center their relationship with God (Amen!)
  • 33% Considered breaking-up after watching a TV show or movie (choose what you watch carefully!)

 

We would like to hear your thoughts on this matter. Feel free to share your opinion below.

Ask Judy: Am I TOO Latina For My Co-Workers?

Judy Torres

Ask Judy

 

Dear Judy,

I have recently begun a new job at a fashion house that is pretty recognizable. It’s a European fashion corporation and I am one of the VERY few Latinas here. I am a natural woman with curly hair, makeup limited to mascara and lip-gloss, and a curvy figure. I feel confident in my abilities but I would like to connect with my co-workers.

The problem is that we have nothing in common. I grew up in “the hood” and they grew up in cozy cul de sacs. I am proud of my curves and they eat edamame for lunch. I just don’t have anything in common with these Barbie doll co-workers.

What can I do to connect? I feel like failing to connect will hinder my progress in the company and I don’t want to seem antisocial.

Sola en este cubicle,
Yolanda

 

Hola, Yolanda!!

Congratulations on your new job!! You go, girl! Believe it or not, I know how you feel..I too am a natural woman with curly hair, and I always say I may be chunky, but I’m funky! I read your letter today, and shortly after, I went to a zumba class, where I found myself the only Latina there as well. I looked around: Caucasian, African-American, Indian and Asian…what a mixture!! I could tell all the ladies were regulars, but it was my first time there. So, I decided to do all the things I suggest you do.

Instead of feeling uncomfortable that I was the only Latina, I was happy. In my mind, I told myself, “I’m going to show these women how much fun I can be!” So there I was, shaking my booty, and yelling out, “Wepaaaa!” And in a few minutes some of the ladies were hooting and hollering with me. Some looked at me as if I was a strange alien, but I didn’t care. And that’s what you need to do.

Yolanda, you were hired because you are obviously very talented and the right person for the job. Perhaps your company felt it was time to bring in someone new, someone Latina. This is your chance to show them…to represent us. Be yourself. If you try to be anything else so you can “fit in,” you are going to find yourself disliked. People can see through fakeness.

I bet as time passes, they will appreciate your uniqueness. And remember if you don’t love yourself first, no one else will love you. So flaunt that curly hair and curvy figure!! I can tell already you are absolutely beautiful! Wepaaaa!!!

Love,
Judy

How to Flirt, According to Science

 

By Kimberly Moffit

USE FLIRTATIOUS BODY LANGUAGE

Most of the lasting impression we make on others is related to our body language, while only 7% is related to what we actually SAY! If you want to be approached in a bar, sit up straight with your shoulders back. Studies show that this way you’re more likely to be viewed as approachable. Be sure to not close yourself off physically, making you appear standoffish. Mirroring your partner’s body language also signals interest and intimacy. If you’re interested in someone, whether on the train, at Starbucks or at the gym, cross your legs toward as opposed to away. Lean in. And don’t be afraid to let your hands do the talking!

USE GENTLE TOUCH

Touch is important to effective flirting, because while words are processed through the “thinking” part of our brains, touch goes directly to our emotional centers. Touch can immediately heighten arousal, so touching your date/partner’s hand, arm, hair or hip initiates physical contact which immediately ups the ante leading to passion. The right time to lightly brush your crush’s arm or shoulder is when they are giving you physical indicators of interest, such as smiling and prolonged eye contact.

USE YOUR EYES

Eyes are historically known as the most magnetic part of one’s personality. Large eyes signal high fertility from a biological perspective and this may explain why study after study shows that women with larger eyes are seen as more attractive. This is why batting the eyelashes has been used for centuries to get attention as well as make the eyes stand out. You can also try looking your crush in the eye for a few seconds to get their attention.

USE YOUR LIPS!

Smiling, puckering, pursing, licking, and biting are all subtle but VERY effective ways to draw attention to your lips and get your date thinking about kissing them. RED lips also go a long way. Ovulating women have redder lips than when they’re not ovulating; making red lips an evolutionary preferable trait!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST – WEAR RED

People who wear red on first dates are statistically more likely to get into a relationship. The color red actually stimulates the heart to beat faster and has a tendency to evoke confidence in the person wearing it. Our brains are also conditioned to think ‘sexy’ when we see someone wearing red.

Kimberly Moffit is often recognized for her E! News and VH1 appearances. She has become one of the most sought after relationship experts. Additionally, Moffit shares her expert advice through the Huffington Post and Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger’s blog.

 

[Originally published in LatinTRENDS Magazine]

Dear Judy: She locks herself in her room, is not social & hates her job. I want to help her…

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Photo by Harana Zhang

 

Originally published in the June 2016 issue of LatinTRENDS magazine , by Judy Torres

Hola Judy:

I went through a really rough patch a few years ago and got out of it. It took a lot of effort but I really turned my life around. Part of that was meeting my soul mate and getting married. All is good on our side, but I worry about my husband’s sister. She seems to be in the same rough patch that I was in a few years ago. She has become withdrawn. She works at a job that does not fulfill her and she locks herself in her room when she gets home. I want to help her. I have so much advice to offer, but I am afraid of overstepping boundaries. Her family acknowledges the need for her to change her habits—to get some exercise, apply for new jobs and be social—but should I be the one to help her? How can I get close to her?

 

 

 

Dear Concerned One:

First, let me applaud you for caring about your sister-in-law. Some people find it hard to connect with their in-laws, and I think it’s so kind of you to care for your sister-in-law. It is SO easy to spot a serious problem, when we ourselves have been in the same shoes. But connecting with people sometimes is not so easy. I think the solution is simpler than you may think. Knock on her door, and ask her to come out. Get her OUT of the house. Take her for a mani/pedi, lunch, or take her out for coffee.And then tell her the truth. Tell her everything you wrote right here.

Tell her the following:“I really care about you, not just because you’re my sister-in-law,but because I know exactly what you are going through. Many years ago,I went through a rough patch. It was one of the worst times of my life. I did what you did. I hid. But after some time I finally got out of it. And I want you to know that I simply want our relationship to be stronger.I’d like us to be closer.

Let her know you are there for her if she just needs someone to listen. And IF she does come to you, don’t hurry your response by giving her a solution. It sounds to me as if she truly needs someone to LISTEN. So hear her out. Her story is not exactly your story, but you’ve been there. I want to add that many times when people isolate themselves,they are in a state of depression. So consider how long she’s been acting like this. If it’s more than three months, she may need professional help, and she needs to know that there is nothing wrong with that. Lastly, just put your arms out, and hug her. Remember, when people are hurting, they tend to get over it in their own time. So all you can do is remind her that you and your husband are there for her always.And that no matter what, you love her, and want nothing more than for her to be truly happy!

 

 

 

→See for more of this story in this month’s issue of LatinTRENDS Magazine.

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Glad Marc Anthony Does Not Suffer From Gamophobia

Gamophobia (pronounced ‘ga-me-PHO-bia’) is the fear of getting married, being in a relationship, or commitment. We can gladly say that Marc Anthony is not suffering from that.

Marc Anthony‘s first wife was former Miss Universe, Dayanara Torres. The two wed in 2000 and had two boys, Cristian Anthony Muñiz (5 February 2001) and Ryan Anthony Muñiz (16 August 2003). Their rocky relationship was very public and their divorce was finalized on June 1, 2004.

marc-anthony-dayanara-torres-wedding

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony had undeniable chemistry on and off stage. They wed on June 2004 and later had adorable twins Emme Maribel Muñiz and Maximillian David Muñiz. Surprisingly they announced their separation in July 2011 and Anthony filed for divorce on April 9, 2012. Their divorce was finalized on June 18, 2014.

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It’s been reported that Shannon De Lima started dating Anthony in early 2012, roughly five months after he and J.Lo called it quits. As soon as the divorce of wife #2 was finalized he married De Lima on November 11, 2014 in the Dominican Republic.

Marc Anthony, Shannon De Lima

We hope the third time is a charm and wish him a long lasting marriage with his gorgeous new wife.

JLo shares her ‘True Love’ secrets!

Jlo - true love book

Who comes to mind when say these words? Icon, Latina, singer, actress, fashion designer, and NY. If you thought of JENNIFER LOPEZ, you are correct. As if this busy diva doesn’t have enough on her plate, we can now add author to that list.

Currently in promotion of her autobiography, ‘True Love’, Jlo shares her most deepest emotions with her intense relationships with Marc, Ben and a others. JLo talked about her breakup with actor Ben Affleck which at that time were known to us as ‘Beniffer’. During that time she maintained a relationship for 10 years with Grammy Winning superstar, Marc Anthony.

“Ben was probably my first great unrequited love, and having one of my best friends Marc , whom I had known for years, and who in fact I loved and I had chemistry with, come to my life and say ‘ I’m here!'” says Jlo

“What we need to know is that no one can save you or cure you . Only you can do that for you, I’m open to love but now think it’s better to be alone for a minute to learn more about me .” says this NYrican.

In addition to Affleck , and Marc Anthony , Jenny from the block past relationships with Cuban model and actor, Ojani Noa , Hip Hop Artist and business entrepreneur, Diddy and dancer/choreographer, Cris Judd, Marc Anthony and Casper Smart. All relationships that she learned from and she truly has no regrets. After all you can’t control who you fall in love with right?

“Someone could look at my life from the outside and think that everything was wonderful. She had a husband and two beautiful children. It was on ‘Idol ‘ and my single ‘ On The Floor’ was in the No. 1 position worldwide. But what people did not know was that my life was not happy. My relationship was falling apart and I was scared , “he says .
“I do not think I can stick with Marc ” says Jlo.

“When things do not work and you are not trying the way you want them to treat you , stop and analyze things because it’s not anyone’s fault , but yours ,” reflects on ‘True Love’

Jen’s autobiography depicts her human side. Her heartfelt emotional side. The one that cries, loves, is angry. The one that is on her sofa with fleece wrapped around her and her family wiping her tears of the heartache of the breakups. Which to her defense, we all do it. We all have our ‘He’s The One!’ moments then we come to realize he’s not. Whether it was a betrayal or just an illusion of an emotion that was never there.

Regardless it hurts. And not just us, it hurts the other party involved as well. We all make mistakes. We all have regrets. But one thing we always fail to remember is that when going into a relationship, we should start as who we are, not who we assume the interested party wants us to be. Because at the end of the day, mix emotions and illusions is why the myth of ‘the good part of the relationship is the first 3 month’s’ is recycled. Because we are not who we really are. It not only confuses them, it confuses you as well and at the end we suffer a broken heart not because they are not the one but because we lost more then just a future mate, we lost a friend.

I can’t wait to pick up this book. Its definitely one that most of us can relate too. Not only would it be a great learning experience but a portion of the funds will go to The Lopez Family Foundation, founded in the interest of the health and welfare of women and children.

Is It Okay To Date More Than One Person At Once?

Image via Centives.net

Image via Centives.net

In the past, it was common for people to date one person at once. The idea was that you’d give the person you were seeing a fair chance, and if things didn’t work out, then you’d move on to the next one. For a while, it appeared that this was the way that things should be, but with the addition of dating websites, social networks, and simply put, technology, it’s getting harder to decipher what’s acceptable and what’s not.

Is there a precise “formula” for dating? How long should you see one person before moving on to the next one? Furthermore, is it okay to date more than one person at once? And while dating more than one person may seem like an appealing concept from afar, what happens when you find out you’re number two or three on the totem pole? Does your perception of a serial dater then differ?

While dating two people from say, your job, could get potentially messy, we don’t see anything wrong with getting to know more than one person at the same time. The key is to be upfront. Let the people you’re seeing know you’re seeing other people. Truth is, if you’re intensely drawn to one person, you’ll end up becoming exclusive.

What do you think about dating more than one person at the same time? Do you think it’s rude or immoral? A recipe for disaster? We want to know what you think! Leave a comment below or send us a tweet @LatinTRENDS2010.

Is Beyonce and Jay-Z’s Marriage In Trouble?

 

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Beyonce and Jay-Z were all hugs and kisses during their Wednesday night concert in Seattle. Ever since TMZ released the video of Solange attacking Jay-Z after the MET Ball rumors began to fly that were are over, split, broken-up, or divorced. This display of affection seemed to prove otherwise.

Beyonce stated to Hollywood Life that she does not want a divorce, she’s very against it on principal. That’s why they waited so long to get married — she wanted to be a hundred percent sure. Jay and Beyonce also agreed that they would never put their daughter, Blue Ivy through a divorce. It’s been a hard couple of months, but who doesn’t have problems in their relationships?

I’m really happy to know that Beyonce and Jay Z are putting what’s most important to them a priority — their Blue Ivy

Do you think this is real or a publicity stunt? Does this dynamic duo really need the press? Can this be a mere plot to sell tickets for the “On The Run” Tour? Share your thoughts.

Love Advice: Questions about Love, Sex and Greeting Cards with Judy Torres

Judy Torres

Ask Judy

 

Q: What is the best advice you can give a young guy who wants to ask an older woman out on a date?
A: I can answer this question by experience. I am the older woman in my relationship. And we are now engaged to be married. As an older woman, I don’t think we are interested in age as much as we are interested in your confidence and your success in life. Success, ambition, confidence with a little humility is what is sexiest. So when approaching an older woman, be yourself. Take an honest interest in who she is. And don’t bother lying to us, because we can read bs right away. And please, NEVER say things like, “You know, for an older woman you really are beautiful.” Just make us feel desired and honest.

 

Q: E-Cards or Hallmark cards?
A: To me there simply is no real thought in an e-card. It’s digital, it’s downloaded and it’s downright cold and impersonal. I love the feeling of receiving a real card, reading the inscription or poem on the inside…seeing someone’s handwriting makes it all the more special. I’m not saying I’m right, but I’m not wrong, ha ha!!

 

Q: What is your go-to song when you want to get all romantic?
A: When I want to get all romantic my go-to songs are Tango by Lara Fabian, Jezebel by Sade or Europa by Santana! Yea, those are pretty sexy! I can’t choose just one!

 

Q: What is the best song to get it on to?
A: The best song to get it on to? A lady NEVER tells! Only my fiance knows!

 

Q: How can you tell if you’re really in love?
A: You can tell you are really in love when thinking of that person makes you all giddy inside; when you find yourself thinking of that person at the worst possible moments like when you get pulled over for running a red light. That person is your first thought when you wake and your last thought before you sleep. You are in love when the thought of that person not being in your life brings you to tears.

 

Q: Sex in public places, yes or no?
A: Sex in public places? Si, si, si – if you are ready to risk being arrested, and as long as the public place is not inappropriate – like a school for example. You don’t want to get caught by children. Sex on a beach, for instance, can be tempting and exciting. Not that I would know. I only heard from others!

 

Q: Dating a co-worker. A do or a don’t?
A: Dating a co-worker is too risque! You spend the majority of your day at work. If you date a co-worker and it doesn’t work out, the workplace can become a very uncomfortable place and your performance could suffer. Worse than that, there’s gonna be lots of bochinche if he/she turns out to be a bad person.

 

Q: Sexting. Si, si, si or No, no, no?
A: Sexting?! NO! Once you type those sexy and erotic words and press “send,” your words are out there forever. Later on, if it doesn’t work out, that person could use your own words against you. But…if you are certain your texts will be private and if it is for your spouse’s eyes only and you know no one will see it go for it.

 

Q: Best love advice you’ve gotten from your parents?
A: The best advice my mother gave me about love was that love does not hurt. It should make you feel good, it should lift you up and it should NEVER put you down. And her words have helped me out of very unhealthy situations quickly!