You think you can handle J-Lo? Why not apply to be her assistant?!
Life & Style Magazine reports that La Bruja is looking for a new assistant to torture, since her last one finally snapped and is now banging her head against the wall in a padded room in a mental hospital somewhere.
According to Life & Style’s sources, this is what will be required of you as J-Lo’s main slave:
– “The person has to be graceful under pressure, have a thick skin, and be resourceful in foreign countries, among others things.”
– “You’ll be expected to travel at a moment’s notice and must know how to adjust in each city.”
– “The job is 6 days a week, at least 12 hour days with one day off, but you may not get off for weeks. You’ll be on call 24/7 and you’ve got to be organized and always on point.”
– “You have to change diapers, work on little sleep and cook if the butler is away.”
– “You have to know when J. Lo has her snack time. She won’t say she’s hungry, you’re just expected to have food waiting.”
And for your blood, sweat, tears and sanity, La Bruja will generously give you $55,000 to $65,000….A YEAR! That’s around $15 an hour!
$55,000 is what it’s going to cost to bail you out of jail once you jump over the edge by smashing all of her precious jewels and white candles to bits. $55,000 is what you’re going to spend a month on all the illegal drugs you’ll have to swallow to keep yourself from choking her out!
But it could always be worse…you could be Naomi Campbell‘s assistant instead.