by: Maria Luna
Last year I did something a little crazy. I was dating a guy—think blonde dread locks, cerulean eyes, athletic physic, y un culito chulísimo. We’d just come back from Wholefoods after buying the loveliest hunk of manchego cheese, and were settling on the couch, about to pop in a bootleg DVD. Then Mr. Wonderful, who I’d been planning to marry and have 2.5 curly-haired children with, gently tells me that this may be the last time we will see each other as he has recently learned that he is going to be a father, and not to my 2.5 children.
So I left the country. I swear I did.
After much self-analysis and soul-nurturing on the beaches of the north coast of the Dominican Republic, I realized that I had planned to marry Mr. Wonderful, in my mind, and the guy before him, the one before that one, and the one before that one. Yes, I do select some really fine Papi-Champus, but I found that for years I had been suffering from anuptaphobia, a fear of being single…forever!
Do you date a bunch of cuties at the same time, hoping that you will naturally filter down to The Right One? Have an impressive string of long-term relationships, and by long-term you think 1+ years is long? Get all Britney Spears, about to shave your hair off whenever you get a wedding invitation in the mail? Guy or girl, you might be suffering from a mild to serious case of anuptaphobia.
Here are some tips on how to move on from your locura:
· Take time to get to know Thyself. What do you really want from your life?
· Try to pinpoint the origin of your fears. Is it your Tía—the one who keeps asking you when you’re going to get married and have a baby, and not necessarily in that order? Was it your parents’ divorce back in the 80s, when your mom went all I can do bad all by myself on your dad?
· Put your ego on ice for a while and commit to other wonderful things in life, and not just your career. Volunteer or take a cooking class, and not just because you think you may meet your next life partner at one of these places.
· And lastly, therapy. There I said it. There are some amazing techniques to help you get on with your life. Why not give it a try?