Before we begin, I’d like you all to take a look at that cherubic little baby being toted around by THISF***INGHIPSTER.
Is that baby not one of the cutest little things you’ve ever seen? Is he not a vision of angelic serenity?
Well, THISF***INGHIPSTER goes by the name of Pete Wentz, and is married to THISWANNABEF***INGHIPSTER Ashlee (Sister of Jessica) Simpson — and THESEF***INGHIPSTERS are the baby’s parents. As if this isn’t enough to make you want to call CPS, THESEF***INGHIPSTERS have named this little tyke BRONX MOWGLI.
I’ll let you process that for a minute. I also invite you to whip out this post whenever an ignorant school administrator mispronounces your child’s name because it sounds “too Spanish-y.” Oy.
Speaking of Spanish…apparently, Bronx Mowgli Wentz (hereinafter BMW, like the car), who is now nearing two, is able to fluently babble in Spanish…thereby confounding his F***INGHIPSTER parents. (I know. Shocking. Because they looked so intelligent…)
According to the F***INGHIPSTERS, they believe that BMW learned the Spanish from the nanny. And of course, they ran to tell E! Online. “I speak pretty bad Spanish,” said the Male F***INGHIPSTER, “but we have this fantastic nanny and she speaks Spanish to him. I think it’s really important to be global.”
Well, first of, the F***INGHIPSTERS can’t speak ENGLISH very well, either, because the correct way of saying what he was trying to say is, “I speak Spanish pretty badly, but we have a fantastic nanny and she speaks Spanish to him. I think it’s really important to be global.”
Second, does the ability to speak Spanish REALLY render one “global”? We don’t think so…approximately 1/3 of the world’s countries speak the language.
Have the kid learn some Urdu, and then come talk to us about being “global”!
